My personal pride cycle

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about the "Nephite Pride Cycle" and how it applies to my life.  Here is the pride cycle I am talking about.  

The cycle is one from the people of the past but it's included in the scriptures as a warning to us today.  Here is the simplified version. I am posting both because the scriptures are a good reference, but I like the simple drawing because it spells it out for me in an easy way. 

This applies to us as a nation, as the world and to us personally.  Where are we on this cycle? Where am I? Many times in my life I have been humbled by my own bad choices and the consequences that came because of them.  For me, pride and destruction always comes because of my selfishness. I am too afraid to ask for help, or I am too proud to admit my mistake.  I put the I in pride!

I put my wants above the pain I may cause others, or the pain I may cause myself later. It's usually a case of "I want it now!" 

    I am struggling with this today.

  There are several types of pride or selfishness. It's not always pride because you think you are better, or more special than others. Sometimes pride is thinking you are not good enough.  Sometimes pride tells you that your not worthy. We get unbalanced when we overthink about ourselves in a positive or a negative way.

The best tools of the Devil are either thinking more of yourself or less of yourself. The best answer is: spend less time thinking of yourself! 

We need to be humble and to listen to the Lord.  We need to see what we can do to help others. We need to step out of our worries and stress and get out of our own heads. 

    So much anguish, depression and sorrow is in coveting what others have. It causes us to be dissatisfied with what gifts, bodies, and blessings we do have. It causes us to be ungrateful. 

  There is also the pride of thinking we are right, or smarter and that causes so much contention. We spend time having unnecessary arguments with people we don't know or, we don't try to understand where they are coming from.  

Does that build or take away from the spirit? I am guilty of this myself. When we have fights online it doesn't show the love we would show them in person, or if they were our family.  

    Aren't we all brothers and sisters? Would we act that way if they were in front of us and not over a keyboard? We don't know their life or their experiences. 

When considering the right thing to do, I have found that it's always best to lead with love. Imagine being in their shoes, imagine how bad their feet hurt. Imagine what they must have gone through, to feel the way they do. Their walk through life has been painful.  Their burdens have been heavy, their feet are so very sore.

   Maybe that's why Christ showed us his deep humility and example, by washing the feet of the apostles. He knew their walk was difficult, following Jesus Christ then, or now, is hard! 

I need to put my needs in proper order. There are things we HAVE to do to survive. We need to make sure we care for our bodies, our spirits, and our minds, before we can help others. 

    It's the analogy of the oxygen mask on an airplane. You have to meet your basic needs before you can serve others.

   So read your scriptures, eat a good breakfast, get dressed and then get to work! 

But don't do any of those necessary things to excess! If we spend too much time worrying about our needs we get out of balance. We may become sedentary, selfish and pleasure seeking.

   The opposite is also true. If we don't take care of ourselves enough, we can get sick, depressed, and we lose our capacity to serve. It's all about balance! 

    If we take care of ourselves and those around us in the right way then God blesses us with prosperity. Not always in material things, but prosperity of his spirit. 

We have to be so careful about equating financial prosperity with holiness. They are not the same. Sometimes the Lord will grant wealth, so that others can be blessed through us. Most of the time the blessings are in abundance of His spirit.

     That's why we are told to not judge the poor, they may be highly blessed of the Lord and we may be spiritually starving. 

  Those are my thoughts this week. I have a few things I need to adjust in my life to be better aligned with his will. Writing and researching this topic has given me good direction on my next steps to take. Be patient with my stumblings as well because my feet are sore from walking my hard path.

  Thanks for reading! 

Love, Lori 

Alma 30-35 my thoughts

   The first chapter in my reading starts off with the story of Korihor who is someone who is called an "anti-Christ" he is someone who is actively trying to convince people to turn away from their faith in Jesus.  This reading made me think a lot. Mentally I saw a lot of comparison between himself and Alma the younger who also went around trying to tear down the faith of others. 

   I also compared it to my life and my own experiences in coming to understand the gospel and to have my own conversion to Christ. 

Korihor and Alma the younger were both going against what they were taught so why is one a great Mormon hero and why is one an example of what not to do? The answer I think is: their hearts.  After having each a powerful spiritual experience telling them they were in the wrong, Alma the younger changed his ways. Alma the younger became a powerful missionary for good.  Korihor on the other hand, did not. He was rendered speechless because he would have gone back to trying to ruin the church if his ability to talk was restored. His heart was in a place to do Evil.  How does this relate to us in modern days? 

Are there people around us who are inside or outside of the church trying to tear down others beliefs? Absolutely! So how do we know, how do I know how to go? The answer is ask with sincere humility. 

We can ask in church to clarify questions we may have. We can ask about anything. Keep in mind you might get different answers, each person gives according to their experience and knowledge.  We can study the scriptures and read the words of the prophets and see where we can get further information. All of that is not enough though! We need to be humble and to ask the Lord. 

He created us and ultimately it is our responsibility to get to know God and what he wants us to do.  We are here and given personal agency and we will have to answer for ourselves.  If we get upset or offended because someone gave us bad advice and we lose our faith, that is up to us. We have to be humble enough not to be reactionary and paitent enough to get answers from the spirit.  There is a funny quote from Brigham Young: 

We live in a day and age where people get their feelings hurt and they get offended by everything, especially online. We don't hear enough people trying to see the other persons point of view, or being humble enough to ask questions. Then even fewer people these days turn to God and ask him for answers and guidance. 

    I can't change the world, I can only change myself. There was a time where I wasn't active in the church and I was very vocal about it. I did many things the prophets and apostles said not to do.  It took an "Alma the younger experience" to humble me.  I am glad I turned my heart over to God and I changed my life. I hope to never feel as empty and alone as I did before I came to know Christ. 

Above is the picture of Christ teaching in the temple. Those grown and wise men also had to be humble and teachable enough to listen. Sometimes lessons come is different shapes and sizes and we need to be able to recognize them when they come. 

Our relationship with God is the most important thing we can do in this life. We can't change others, we can't save anyone, but we can make sure we are teachable and humble enough to let the Lord in our life and to look to him for our salvation. 

This is my thoughts, feelings and impressions about Alma 30-35. I would love to hear yours.

Sincerely, Lori Hatfield 

The old ship Zion

Elder Ballard gave a great talk in General Conference about "staying on the old ship Zion." Sitting in sacrament meeting today I was thinking of that ship as I watched the young men bless and pass the sacrament. 

I watched as they wore their best white shirts and showed respect and reverence as they passed the bread and water to the congregation. I thought about how they looked like tiny waiters. I am not saying that with any disrespect. I have been on cruise ships before and watched as the young men would attend to the needs of the passengers. Those waiters would wear crisp white and attend to our every need. 

The young men who passed the sacrament, waited patiently as each member who desired partook of the sacred bread and water.  In coming to where we are to serve us, I was filled with gratitude. It reminds me of the love from the Savior, he comes to where we are. We take of the sacrament to remember his body and blood which was shed for us. 

I thought about other priesthood responsibilities, they are all acts of service. From blessing the sick to performing blessings and baptisms, no man blesses himself. Performing priesthood blessings and ordinances is always an outward act of service and love. 

The priesthood is an act never to be used to esteem one's self. It is not a selfish act. Every ward (congregation) in the church is ran by a Bishop or a Branch President. To me those men are like deck captains on the ship. They attend to our local needs or they send the stewards they direct over to bless our lives. They don't steer the ship, Christ does.  

Some people are offended that women are not called to be in the priesthood. I understand that they see things differently than I do about it. I served a mission but I was not given the authority to baptize or confirm anyone, I just taught. I don't see this as a bad thing. I enjoyed so much seeing the gospel change lives. I loved being a servant of Christ but I didn't feel the need to direct the boat. Changing lives matters most and not the titles given.  

I know that no one can take my place in the church or the family.

   The scripture says, "Neither the man without the woman or the woman without the man." I am proud of the work I do on the "Old ship Zion."  I serve, I teach, I minister to the poor and sick and needy as I enjoy the blessings of this cruise.  It would be foolish to jump off of a cruise ship because you weren't asked to be a waiter.  I am content in receiving every blessing and comfort the gospel brings to my life, I don't covet the roles of others.  I have (as a missionary and in Relief Society, over the last 20 years) sat in many ward councils as the Bishop and a select few discussed how to serve those in their charge. I have felt like my ideas and opinions were carefully listened to and often implemented. I have felt like a waiter on the ship.  My husband and I teach teens in our ward. We love them! That is the part of the ship our captain has asked us to teach. We teach from the scriptures and from church doctrine but we often share our opinions and experiences. We could easily teach the wrong things and lead our group astray. We pray and study and we follow the spirit to ask the Captain what his children need to know to withstand the storms. 

I take this calling seriously and we try to do our best to love and guide these fine young people.  We are their servants.  I would like to express my gratitude for a church who does not focus on selfishness but we focus on service to others. 

Let your light so shine!

Today's thought, letting your light shine. 

   This topic has been on my mind a lot lately. During these last few years I have had a lot of stress on my plate. I am a mom of two, a wife and a college student.  About a year after we were married we found out I had cancer in my thyroid. My husband and I both worked full time and he went to college as well. It was hard to go through illness (mostly physically alone) but it didn't dim my testimony or my closeness to God. I went into remission and then I had two beautiful daughters. 

After my second child was born my cancer returned. I was terrified. This time, I didn't turn to the Lord as I should have. I was tired, I was discouraged, I knew what I was up against. Luckily my cancer was slow growing and it went away surprisingly easy. I was lucky, I am back in remission again.  This time I let myself drift away from the things of the spirit. I didn't read my scriptures and pray as often as I had in the past. I started watching and listening to media that didn't match my values.  The church and it's teachings in the had before brought me great joy and comfort, I had forgotten that. 

   Then I encountered people who were not comfortable with things like my church. They didn't share my values, so I put a big part of who I am on the back burner.  I downplayed the importance my faith is in my life. I dimmed my light to try and make others more comfortable. It was a mistake. I am not ever saying to be pushy about your beliefs but to be an example of the teachings of Christ in all you do.

  By dimming my light, I got a little lost. You see by obeying the commandment "let your light so shine before men" it doesn't just help others it's really the most help to yourself. We are in rough days and traveling hard paths, if we dim our light we not only loose our ability to help others but we stumble or take the wrong path ourselves. In navigating rough terrain do we want less light, or as much as possible? For me I need to see the alternative paths and the stumbling blocks so I can make sure to follow HIM.

  I had been thinking of all of these things and then my beautiful and wise friend Rachel posted this on Facebook: 

 "....I've learned to never let someone influence you to change your values. I have spent a lot of time trying to pretend I enjoy and accept things that I do not. All to please someone other than myself. It is important to live in a way that helps you to be a happier you, a kinder you, and makes you feel at peace. You are better off by yourself living in this way than trying to live a life you hate to make someone else accept you and love you."

  She is so right! It reminded me of one of my favorite sayings:

That just means, be true to yourself and don't change or dim your light for anyone!  In the end we are responsible for that light inside us that tells us what is right and where to go.  If we don't keep our light burning bright then we don't have the ability to share that light with others.

You have to have a spark to make a fire to light the way. Don't lose that inner spark, kindle it into a fire to see clearly and guide others.

   I am not saying you are responsible for the choices of others but some have never seen the light. At first it may hurt their eyes and cause them to look away.

 They will choose to seek the darkness or they will adjust to the light. The light is the source of warmth and truth, when they adjust they may want more. If when they first shrink from the light you dim yours to make them more comfortable you may accidentally extinguish your little light, protect it! 

If you protect and nourish that light you can make it grow. By growing that light through prayer, scriptures and following inspired guidance soon it will fill the room. Others will want to come out of the darkness and join you in that room.  

 Fire wants to breathe and grow, the fire of Gods love does too. It's a living thing, it needs fuel and if neglected of gas or oxygen, it can die.  I am far from perfect, I am seeing my flaws in that light. I got a little rusty and dusty in losing my way. I am in the process of dusting myself off so I can be clean like he is.

No unclean thing can enter his presence. I need that light to find all my dusty areas and clean it adequately so I can be with him. It is my strongest desire! So here's to 2016 a year of love and light and being my true self. 

Best wishes, Lori